its harder than i thought.. can anybody hear her... i feel so alone and isolated .. today will not be a day to study.. i just want to sleep right now .... to the bed i go ~
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on this low low day, i was reminded to rejoice, but also to mourn!... for Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted <3..on this saturday, i was able to have a few caring friends ask me how i was and surprisingly the two were nonchristians and one was a brother in Christ..
I know i have many friends.. but why is it, that when things get tough like this... and you can break any second of the day.. only one nonchristian freind can consistently remind you and ask you if you're ok, and tell you that if you need anyhting, they will be there... i have the friends that encourage once in a while. but noone understands that while this is happening... you can break any second, you really want someone there by yourside not be there only for that one time wishing you are ok. but reallly asking you are you ok ?.. and asking you and reminding you that they are there.. consistently.... im not blaming anyone, but really its hard to believe thats all.. it made me realized like.. who really is there. who really cares. and mostly who doesn't... are ppl just scared to ask you how you are? ...
usually i have so much feed back from random things i post but when something serious pop's up. noone dares to come near you..
harsh but,
i just wanted to tell it how it is, wishing that this body of Christ will strengthen and wake up. ~speaking to myself too, good lessons to learn ~

wow.... life has seemed so much harder coming back home.. not only has there been alot of responsibilities put upon me again, theres alot of impatience in the family. alot of criticism, alot of things hard to hear... its not the same coming back.. im not as excited. infact i just want to stay in london if i could...

families tough, but in the end i still love them..

ontop of that there are many things ot think about,.. on a stormy, rainy day like this, its hard to think of the good for real. but ill keep my hopes high,,
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the top post was posted earlier today.. when it was storming hard ... one of the things i was "thinking about" was my friend in the Hospital... He passed away this morning... when it was terrifyingly raining and thundering... and electricity went off and everything.... now its late afternoon.. and the sun is shining as bright as ever.. God you're amazing, I pray that on this beautiful day you will shine your love and comfort on his parents, family and relatives..

God you are good, and there's alot of light to see in this ... but right now i wont lie... it's really hard to study for my exam that's in a week...
God I love you, take care of them and may we be a source of comfort at his funeral in a couple of days,,

anGie.

God, please heal matt loo .. pleaseee
Lord, as Billie and I went to visit him today,... we met his mom,
as she spoke to Matt saying the exact words " Hey Matt, look who's here to see you, it's Billie and Angie !"... with those words, he reacted with heavy breathing... we know he knew we were there to see him! it was as if his heart was beating with excitement to see us ... it was very cute...


As billie and i visited him, we prayed for him and held his very inflated swollen hand .... Billie was the first to cry and I wanted to hold it in til i left but seeing her tears made it really hard... As we prayed for him, we prayed that angels will take care of him, that more and more prayers will go out to him and his family... we wrapped up and i glanced to the corner of my eye seeing his mother crying with us...i cannot imagine how many times a day she sheds a tear for her eldest son ... seeing so many other ppl visit him, care for him and pray for him and cry.. as a mother she would probaly cry with every group that visited him like she did when we cried..


Ive never in my life time experienced seeing a friend unconsciously lying on a hospital bed... with arms inflated, head inflated, needles plugged in, with IV, bruised arm from the needles i suppose, respiratory tubes in the nose ... scars from his surgery that caused these complications...

I know he will be ok, stay strong Matty! we are all praying for you!

wow im having the most amazing conversation ever with a new friend i made... God is amazing!!!!!! RWARAWR

Remind yourself who you are and what you stand for. take nothing less and respect yourself. stand firm. don't be shaken so easily. do what you need to do, but above all, put love in all of it for love is where Christ is, and you need it.

why are the tears back, the pain, the everything. this isn't good..

lets just say, couldnt have had a better sat. night.... I know my freinds, my dance freinds from woof. They're the sweetest group you can ever meet,... tonight we went out to DANCE. we kept walking from place to place and ended up in 29. met knew ppl made memories with old ppl, fun times, though i wish i couldve put on a smile more than have my mind occupied with other things...

I know my limits and I really want to love them, they're my family and really ive seen the atmosphere and their culture being so tight knit and affectionate its great that they respect that i dont drink, but i'd go dance with them anyday. :T they're a great group of ppl...so comfortable being with them, even with their affection <3

first time for everything.

anGie.