In my bubble

my only fear was judgment, but why fear that, because it's inevitable... this is my bubble of struggles, love, life, hope, and dreams...

Friday, December 31, 2010


i think one of the worst things i struggle with is anger, people would not know me as an angry person, and i dont think i am, but in all honesty, the people i cherish the most, are the exact same people i find so hard to control my anger with

it's a means of self control, again putting down your pride, patience, stop taking offence, humbleness, to make my anger constructive, not destructive.Yes i even googled anger..i read that to manage it all you should make it so that "you still put a sense of respect for other, and myself, and if i'm to calm myself, i can't put it inward towards myself either, it causes me depression prob low self-esteem.."
what a fine balance. it's something that i struggle with, and it's only predominantly hard with my family members which is probably the saddest thing ... anger hurts. everyone around.

all i pray for is to grant me the calmness and peace when im mad and angry, and absolutely vulnerable to loose control. that i still respecting my family members knowing that even if i think they have a fault, i have a bigger fault to deal with... that i need to just shut my mouth and breath for a second. to just not be the last one talking, to suck it up even if it hurts.

i hate anger, and i can stay calm in many cases but when i can't i hate it, i hate myself when i loose control, and the last people on earth that should experience it is my family..


Wednesday, December 29, 2010


take away my pride, even if it means breaking me into pieces, it'll hurt, im expecting it to, if it doesn't i dont think i'd be able to have that pride taken away. pride makes anyone, and me atm, a horrible person. an ugly one,

I hate pride, so i ask Lord that you take it away, do what it takes, its sin. a deadly one. and ugly one, one that breaks relationships, one that starts arguments, one that doesn't benefit anyone. no peace, no love, no humility.

Give me humility. in every part of my life,

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.”
—C.S. Lewis (via quote-book)


Wednesday, December 22, 2010


so it's been about a week since i've been in hk... we've done so many things and gone to many many places... ate alot of crazy food and definitely experienced the awesomeness my country has :)

first thing i ate was fishballs and noodles.. i bit into those fish balls, my goodness it felt like i just had an epiphany of how crappy lame canadian fishballs have been all my life... and so it begins, cuase everyhting after that is as amazing, and it only gets better!! ... all except the banana i ate this morning from the grocery store -_-'' i love banana's. this one failled me... haha

there are so many different wonders here,it's hard to know where to start...

so many memories i would love to rmb:
1) plane flight- so much faster than i thought :) thanks Opa. for the video/letter, watched going the distance,

2) snake dinner- snake balls(forgot, for all the dirty thinking ppl,its like fish balls, but snake), snake soup? hello :)

3) macau- mini LA is really mini LA.. stepped into a casino the first time, macau, you can smoke everywhere.. not like LA casino's with designated smoking area's, and first time i was wowwing about the bajillion cameras(should've expected that) in every corner of the whole casino that was so big there were 8 levels. forgot, the 2 casino's i stepped into, obvi they would ask us for our ID's..atleast we still look young??:P

4) gong zie mui- a NIGHT MARKET 100x bigger and longer! so sick.. so sick... got lots of things for cheap! snacks, food :) food :P hahah and health care stuff its cool! :D alot of people though.. too many!

5) cable car- 45 degrees upwards felt like 160 degrees, so steep!! so high!! went up and it felt oh so good to walk around the high hill, where all the rich ppl live. my favorite was lying on my dad's shoulder while listening to the song" jut lung doe been ngor dic sum" <3 daddy

6) nhgong ping 360 - the famous large buddah statue and the many stairs ppl have to "climb" to get up to it... i stood at the bottom and said out loud ".. mr. buddah, im not climbing these stairs for you... JUST SAYIN..." :) it was just awkward seeing him and walking up in pain. but clearly not for him,we got up there and saw the view! :) that was nice! saw temples and ate vegetarian stuff, saw monks,they sold HUGE COTTON candy, so cool, it was like 5 heads! johnny slaved to finish that thing :) tehee hahah cuase apparently my 50% was 10% ! LOL

7) xmas- adventure with forster, neither of us know how to read chinese. went into a resturant that had english on the outside so we said " yeah!" . .but realized when we got inside, sat down, that it was only chinese menus.. great!.. randomly got A. and C. on the menu... pretended as if we knew what it was, until she said " both rice?" ..i said " yes" forster said " what else is there" expecting her to TELL us options, instead she pointed to the menu like any other chinese person who hates their job. and forster replied " ya.. ill just have the same" (cuase we can't read!!!!) .. HAH got our meals, happy with them :D hahah, ate HK STINKY TOFU YEH, and fresh mango juice at hui low san! best place ever.
dinner with the family + uncle's gf's family, so loud and awesome, and ate lava cakes and a bunch of good asian food, as usual,

many more memories to come! WEEEE i havent even spoken at all about the foods ive eaten and my experiences

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

LOve is actually an amazing thing. It makes all things new, all things good, and all things wonderful. A day without Love is not a day at all.

Unconditional, forever Love comes from one thing and one thing only. The ultimate all loving Father...

His love is contagious and is seen in every little thing, it's amazing and comforting,
Break my heart for what breaks yours.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Blessings upon Blessings :) thank you for a snow day so i could WRK help me be efficient!! :D

Saturday, December 4, 2010


i think for the first time ever, i heard my heart breaking...not because of one dumdumb situation, but an accumulation, time and thoughts also come into account

i feel kinda silly......what to do..?

Friday, December 3, 2010

burden me Lord...

who asks for this?!hah, but just help change me, inside and out...

Thursday, December 2, 2010

wat happened to those days?..