In my bubble

my only fear was judgment, but why fear that, because it's inevitable... this is my bubble of struggles, love, life, hope, and dreams...

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

no, i cant do it again.

believe it or not, i just had a dream last night about doing my org exam, no it wasnt one that would tell me what questions were on it or anything, infact, i think i just finished the exam and realized that, that was it. i would rather fail or pass.. HELLO wake up call... so everyone in my house, aside from hannah is on a crazy study sched. i need one.

orgo is in.. almost just TWO weeks. i cant let it happen again, i need to study NOW.. though i know that i have so much to do til then. i have 3 huge asg's and then compsci that leon helps me with. i must finish this now, or never. then compose a study sched myself. and stick with it. if i did wat i did for midterms. its not gonna be any better. so i better be "booking" it ever hour of the day. good-bye entertainment!!!

discipline me.


Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I'd be lying if i said i wasn't scared.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

tell me what to do.... i dont know what to doo Lord. help me look past my own thoughts and desires, let this only be glorifying to you, what you want me to be doing in my life for you, how i should be.act.think.

Monday, November 15, 2010


the smell of freedom,.....

only for like.. this little bit. .. just finished my last mideterm, but i have a pile of asg's due ... 3, + lab tmr. + OUCH + gotta still study for finals cuase they pile up oh so quickly!!!! :) .. must wrk hard and balance time,... then go to HK :D , soo excited, yet i always think bout ... how im not gonna be with my Opa, but i mean i'll get to spend the rest of my winters with him, so its worth waiting for :T ...

as for my plans this week, i have several goals!
- i hope to finally bake for those that i love <3 yes, all my freindss .. or MOST!
- start learning "can't nobodY" 2en1 for carrie and daniel (keke ^^)
- serve those around me who need it! ie bparks with his hell wk this week!
- figure out all the bills ppl owe/ due
- go to the gym as often as possible
- finish my asg's and ya know, school stuff, go over my horrendous chem exam
- pray, meditate and listen.
- maybe meet up with a few ppl ive been wanting to meet up with.. from perth and such

acutally.. that seems like a alot cuase i still got 3hr dances everynight.. haha.. ambitious much? ..watev's do what i can :P

have a GOOD DAY!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

77th tumblr reblog!

my 77th reblog on tumblr will always be a reminder of how amazing God is... how did this coincidence happen??

i reblogged " God, forgive me, for I have sinned" and i realized it was my 77th post. if you dont know how cool this is, Matthew 18:20-22 says it all.

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

what a beautiful reminder to me, that God wants to forgive me... time and time again, and even when im at my lowest point and i feel so undeserving, and i can't accept His forgiveness, he's already forgiven me becuase ive asked for it in shame, i was so ashamed that i didn't want him to forgive me yet. until i knew that forsure i would not go back to my old ways. I dont want to go back to my old ways, for i've been made NEW in Christ,... this is such an encouragement!... God rooting for me, believing in me, that i can run this race through the narrow road...

<3<3<3 unending love...

Saturday, November 13, 2010

let me not forget the vision you displayed to me... i can't even ask you right now to wash me clean (psalm 51:2,isaih 1:18)... i know you can, but i feel like dirt and oil that might as well stay like that if im gonna have to be washed again... i know this is a false thought from satan, to think i can't be clean again, but i know i can. just not now.. this is too much for me...

i need to know first in my heart that i really truly can do this have a better chance of not having You wash me again,... atleast not that often, because i know im a sinner, convict me, change me from inside out, then undeservingly cleanse me, change my thoughts, and keep me strong.

sounds like a lot of controversy, but i know God knows what im talking about, thats all that matters..

Thursday, November 11, 2010

wow, how amazing is it, to be still and listen to worship songs, I need to give it all to you God, to surrender, to give up, stop sinning. How i miss being in your presence, how I need it.

i can't do it anymore, have to stop sinning, Lord I know you're waiting for me to run back to you and to stop turning my head back to my old ways, so I give up, i only have one purpose in living, to live for you, theres nothing in this world that fills anyones heart, only if they knew the answer was YOU! help me, take me in,.. consume me like never before. University,is prime time, influencing the world, use me, train me, humble me, discipline me and help me grow, im already 1/2 way through!

you're holiness is like noneother. your peace is amazing, your undeserving grace and mercy towards me. . Keep me focused, staying in your presence, staying in this epiphany, seeing your light and seeing the truth in this state of mind.

i struggle. im weak. i'm sinful. I'm filthy. Forgive me.

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to

Hillsong United

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


HHW dance rooutines for OUCH are killer! every single piece by far is SO FUN and amazing. utterly probably the best team ive been in so far, so im super excited most happy with all the choreo, songs, transitions, team wrk and ofcourse we all need to wrk on being sync. but i have no doubt we'll be able to look amazing at OUCH this yr.. and YES, THIS IS THE YR. as practices are getting more and more intense by the day, it's a once in a lifetime thing to do this with the people that are still in this team, though alot of my friends aren't watching this. as i wouldve loved to share this experience with them. its aight :T i understand for their reasons,

but damn these practices are getting intense, my legs better not give out as they almost did yesturday, im one of the two "special" ppl on the team that gets to go up and down and up and down subtly alot more than others. but its good exercise, time to drop my idea of gyming and dancing everyday, i need to study :) and im not utterly unfit and fat that i need to do that as much as i want to be at my optimal fit level by OUCH in like.. 15ish days. it's cool with me, school is still important

someone once told me " your dance should just be counted as a course in itself..."
its true. the past two yrs ive swarmed myself in dance major major time killer, infact its probably worth 4x as much as one single course with the time committed into it. but i get by :) good enough for now.
BUT i am learning and am letting go of some dance teams and randoms, i know i will be studying more which is what i need, but dance will always be close to me!

xoxo. can't wait!!!!!! adrenaline will flood us.

I survived :)

Hell weeks done with. lets move on with life! <3>:) after nxt monday ..(last exam) im def. gonna start baking! and sending notes to everyone, just cause! :)D I have too many amazing people who've been such a blessing, i can't just let that be.
nts: buy butter, eggs

Special thanks for Bparks .. always, who's been there for me when i'm bout to cry, to give me a shoulder to lean on, gentle and caring enough to run to my doorsteps to see if im ok, and helping me on my biz, and all my questions and not judging me cause it seemed like i screwed myself over. but just kept helping as much as possible... and walking me home after every single dance rehearsal which is like mon,tues,wed,thurs, and now that will continue to increase, checking up on me when im sad, that's too much love...

Chui also cuase he's amazing at everything and retains memory like noneother, uni has taken a little toll on our freindship, but its almost ok, cause i feel like he's a freind that i'll have forever. but still i need to refresh our freindship cuasehe's good company and fun to have around :)D i dont want to loose that. helped me with stupid comp sci, love his patience and how he would keep explaining the SAMETHING over and over again so that i can understand (lol)and fixed my comp! wtcrap. too nice. [ as much as i know he'd say i wish i wasn't that reliable, ...TY.]

Gbaby's looked out for me and is still always the genuine caring person she is, helping me when she can, and her first yr notes were so helpful for FN, her company of me walking in her room just whalling and complaining, i must be the most annoying housemate ever, but she's there to just sit there for me :) and also for contacting bparks which i couldnt do when i most wanted it. ty for helping me out

bill's cookin breakfast on my big BIZ 1220 day xoxo :) and her amazing ways of just telling me it's doable, i need a girl like her to help me analyze my own thoughts and make wise decisions.

dandAN just always asked me throughout the week how my hell week is and if im ok, just did regular check ups which were the sweetest things that really helped to keep me sane! and to really let myself be ok with everything.

and honestly more people that just surround me with love and care, to say the least, i really couldn't have survived without these ppl, i deserve nothing like this. I am so blessed, i pray God blessing all of them in every aspect of their life, Lord that's all i want, seriously, to bless all those who've you've given to bless me.. it really all comes down to me being more thankful than ever. God's amazing. period. end of story!!!

ILOVEYOUALL. + all other ppl too much mention.