ANGER

i think one of the worst things i struggle with is anger, people would not know me as an angry person, and i dont think i am, but in all honesty, the people i cherish the most, are the exact same people i find so hard to control my anger with

it's a means of self control, again putting down your pride, patience, stop taking offence, humbleness, to make my anger constructive, not destructive.Yes i even googled anger..i read that to manage it all you should make it so that "you still put a sense of respect for other, and myself, and if i'm to calm myself, i can't put it inward towards myself either, it causes me depression prob low self-esteem.."
what a fine balance. it's something that i struggle with, and it's only predominantly hard with my family members which is probably the saddest thing ... anger hurts. everyone around.

all i pray for is to grant me the calmness and peace when im mad and angry, and absolutely vulnerable to loose control. that i still respecting my family members knowing that even if i think they have a fault, i have a bigger fault to deal with... that i need to just shut my mouth and breath for a second. to just not be the last one talking, to suck it up even if it hurts.

i hate anger, and i can stay calm in many cases but when i can't i hate it, i hate myself when i loose control, and the last people on earth that should experience it is my family..

God,
-help-