Hypothetically speaking...

Would i be satisfied if God was the only one that loved me?
and everyone else in my life hated me right now?
.. rejected by my family, friends, peers, everyone..
Would I be satisfied and content with knowing that God loves me and He's the only one I need?

i must stop my idolatry. Lord take this away from me and take control of my life for me, let me be content with you and not let anything else take control of me. I need your help because i can't do this. I cant.

"Don’t be afraid to fail. Don’t be afraid to seriously suck. Unless you fail, you will never really succeed. It is those failures that really do build character, make you stronger, and prepare you to become better. What fun is a book that starts and finishes on one note? You’ve got to have those ups and downs, those rides and journeys, to have a story that’s exciting. I feel like all of our lives are like a book. I know my life is crazy right now, but I can’t wait to see how God finishes writing this story. Every day I’m trying to take risks and do things I’m scared of. It’s terrifying – don’t get me wrong, I’m scared all the time – and it doesn’t get easier, but I think you get used to putting yourself out there, and taking those risks. The results will be good. Hard work – good, hard honest work – does pay off. Nothing good comes easy. And if it does come easy, watch out – you’re going to lose it, fast! "
-Arden Cho

i love her! what an inspiring female. These people i really look up to, i dont know them, but I know their genuinely in love with Christ and they use their talents towards God and just brings all glory back to him. How beautiful she is, along with jayselee, not only on the outside, but in, oh koreans... :) HAH just jking, but its encouraging to read up on their interviews and getting to know them and their lives, its all just so inspiring :) thank you God for people like them, who give me hope and inspiration to be a great succeeding woman in Christ glorifying you in all they do, even in such a hard world.

time to turn my life back. in all ways~
keep making yourself better.
climb to the top. literally.
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guilt, shame, unwillingness, emptiness, blindness, brokeness

sayings

you know those silly sayings about ppl?
The ones that were accumulated by years of experiences. The sayings that never get old. The one's that pattern from different places around the world, yet are the same.
I use to have a more optimistic mind, maybe it's me getting old, and being less hopeful in things, sad? maybe...nonetheless, I gave people the benefit of the doubt with these sayings. Everyone in my life were exceptions to those truths, even the "worst" of them. But I think its time to change that way of thinking. It's time to be wise and re-evaluate how people run. I think there have been more than enough proof from people close to me who have experienced this at the cost of pain. So tt would be unwise of me to not learn from this (double negatives ftw). I must be more attentive this and give less exceptions. Since having given these exceptions, the sayings have stayed true in the most promising ppl.
So, maybe these sayings aren't so silly. Humanity continues to confirm its truth, and humanity continues to get more corrupted over time, so there isn't any excuse to not listen from what history has learned. eh?

its hard to figure out what im doing at the moment..
What am i trying to fill... or achieve,
Where am i going ?..
am i just stuck.. limboing
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thank you friend, for your listening ear. means alot. accountability is key.