"I'm Not Ashamed of the Scandal." (Paul Washer)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teLvofaVeEA&feature=related

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This sermon I fell to my knees in tears and prayer... for like, the first time in my life, but it's also because i know i need you so much more,...these sermons make me want to push all limits to know God truly.... you've helped me rejoice again and again to know that the right decisions in my life have been made.. you comforted me and reassured me of my thoughts, such that about love and about my life atm.
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Lord, I always run to you when im weak, when i'm broken, when i need help, when i need comfort from the utmost. May i never ever do that again.., - because i want to be running consistently to you ..24/7

I'm ashamed because I know as much as i like to believe that i have you on my mind all the time throughout the day, i know i dont have you at the forefront of my thoughts, my actions, I put you at the back seat until i need you, and how ashamed i feel knowing time and time again that you're the first i should run to, before my family, parents, friends, others.. i must kneel to you first and surrender my thoughts and hopes and in prayer be well...

Teach me continually, I fear to be a different person, but I want to be that different person for you, (we live as foreigners in this place....) To have you change me inside out requires my everything, and Yes i'm scared, i struggle to give you everything on a daily basis..but Dont give up on me God. I'm more than willing to wrk at this .. discipline me. shape me, fix me... take away one of the most dangerous thoughts satan has given me... the fear of failure, and the fear of judgement..
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it's true, .. that if a saint, a disciple, a follower of God who seems spiteful, anxious, daring with the words they use when preaching the Gospel... shows how URGENT and important this msg is. How?...
if your child was on a train track and a train was approaching.. and yet you as a bystander whisper KINDLY to the parent.. "hehe.. hi, um sry.. theres a train approaching.. :) you might want to tell your child to get off... " ... would you as the parent rather you scream loud and concisely tell your child to just" GET OFF, THERES A train coming!"... which one would you appreciate more if you're childs life is at risk? .. even if your life is at risk !
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Today was a good day... though i wasn't efficient in studying,..I was able to spend more time with Christ, and i knew i needed this time so studying was something i was willing to give up and wrk harder on a later date. my heart needed to be right with Christ, and now i'm def. encouraged. More Prayer. More Love. More God. My Desire...