I have this sudden disgust in my gut. Its not from what I ate or the bloody diseases I see on Josiah's Med school notes (he's studying in front of me and those diagrams are quite disgusting). This disgust in from an inner corruption. A gut wrenching stomach curling emotion within me. Somehow at this moment, everything that I see and hear makes me sick. The lyrics I'm hearing through youtube, the ads on the side, the things that my Christian friends say. Though majority good, there is its corrupted moments for we are all sinners. We all fall short of the glory of God, and in this moment, its oh so sensitive. (rom 3:23)
Everything in this world marks sin. Im hit by an overwhelming epiphany again....of how corrupted this world is. Its not the first time Ive felt this way but its making me sick to the core of my stomach.
This must be just a taste of what God feels about sin. Disgust. Hate. Anger. Wrath.
He is Just. so just.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Monday, December 10, 2012
Happy Birthday Dad
Its my dad's birthday today. Txted him last night (incase he was sleeping) and called him today. I am so thankful for him... it gets me thinking about the days we laugh together, the day we pig out together ( bc my mom would never let me do this haha..) the days we talk, share and cry together.
It gets me into tears all the time. As I wrote my passage of thanks to my dad on my tumblr, I was balling my eyes out thinking about the past and thinking about the future. One part I didn't add there but I wanted to add was the fact that theres more to come where my dad will see me graduate, walk me down the aisle, see me have kids, and see them grow up.
I believe one of the most significant events that is bitter sweet is the moment you walk me down the aisle. The moment you choose to give my all to another man. The moment you give my hand over to his. That moment. The significance of it means so much to me! I cannot begin to fully understand how it would feel like. But I do know that when that time comes, its time. :) We both would know the next season of life is here and God has prepared a great plan for me.
Its scary to know that I will be going where my future husband goes. This means that I can be leaving to another country, or half way around the world away from my father thats taken care of me all his life..the one that i've been with all my life. Where God calls him, I will go.
Now that i've seen Phoebe and soon Bonnie walk down that aisle with you, it's the most bittersweet moment that I know we will ever experience. I seek to honour you and serve you until God calls me into marriage. Even then, know that I will still take care of you, I will go to you when you need me. I love you Dad.
It gets me into tears all the time. As I wrote my passage of thanks to my dad on my tumblr, I was balling my eyes out thinking about the past and thinking about the future. One part I didn't add there but I wanted to add was the fact that theres more to come where my dad will see me graduate, walk me down the aisle, see me have kids, and see them grow up.
I believe one of the most significant events that is bitter sweet is the moment you walk me down the aisle. The moment you choose to give my all to another man. The moment you give my hand over to his. That moment. The significance of it means so much to me! I cannot begin to fully understand how it would feel like. But I do know that when that time comes, its time. :) We both would know the next season of life is here and God has prepared a great plan for me.
Its scary to know that I will be going where my future husband goes. This means that I can be leaving to another country, or half way around the world away from my father thats taken care of me all his life..the one that i've been with all my life. Where God calls him, I will go.
Now that i've seen Phoebe and soon Bonnie walk down that aisle with you, it's the most bittersweet moment that I know we will ever experience. I seek to honour you and serve you until God calls me into marriage. Even then, know that I will still take care of you, I will go to you when you need me. I love you Dad.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Discipline-
Discipline. You just have to start. Why is it that its like i've never heard these lessons before. Mind over Matter. Its easier said than done, but what if I used the power of prayer. What if I choose not to use it because i know if i do i will end up doing it. sad reality. So, the question is, how bad do you want it ?
recently i've found my two beast ladies that I can workout with. Renee my koin leader and Justina the cheerleader :) They are so beast, it makes me feel really bad to falling back since first yr where I was alot leaner and stronger.. lol but this is the motivation to get back into things! :) I have them and their encouragements to keep working harder at building endurance. Its a healthy way of thinking and living and im excited. I just hope that I don't get discouraged because they are so beast and I cant keep up :( nonetheless they are such blessings!! I want to run the good race with them! :) Hajah!!! motivation :D
recently i've found my two beast ladies that I can workout with. Renee my koin leader and Justina the cheerleader :) They are so beast, it makes me feel really bad to falling back since first yr where I was alot leaner and stronger.. lol but this is the motivation to get back into things! :) I have them and their encouragements to keep working harder at building endurance. Its a healthy way of thinking and living and im excited. I just hope that I don't get discouraged because they are so beast and I cant keep up :( nonetheless they are such blessings!! I want to run the good race with them! :) Hajah!!! motivation :D
Rejoice Rejoice! :) Thank You Jesus!
As I finish one exam after another, the peace of God never fails to transcend over me! (Phil 4:7) :) Thank you Jesus for your love and your care for me. My continual prayer is to be more intimate with You so that I can hear You and find You in the midst of every situation. Your power and works are unquestionable.
I've never been the one to question You because I truly believe You allow all things to be done for Your glory and so I will always REJOICE because you want me to! Rejoice always (1 Thessalonians 5:16- also probably the second shortest verse in the bible after "Jesus wept" John 11:35 :D ) so whatever fates me in the future I will Rejoice in You Jesus!
Use my life. Help me continue to understand Your death for me. I long to understand to the best of my abilities so that I can really live out what this means and as a product influence others by this understanding of what You've done.
All smiles :) One more week to go! I PRESS ON.
I've never been the one to question You because I truly believe You allow all things to be done for Your glory and so I will always REJOICE because you want me to! Rejoice always (1 Thessalonians 5:16- also probably the second shortest verse in the bible after "Jesus wept" John 11:35 :D ) so whatever fates me in the future I will Rejoice in You Jesus!
Use my life. Help me continue to understand Your death for me. I long to understand to the best of my abilities so that I can really live out what this means and as a product influence others by this understanding of what You've done.
All smiles :) One more week to go! I PRESS ON.
Friday, December 7, 2012
next 5-10 yrs
It gets me excited to know that the next 5-10 yrs are so unpredictable yet they will be the most impacting and significant times of our lives. Everyone will find out their career (if they haven't already), they will all fall in love, all find someone to spend the rest of their lives together with, and start a family, have kids and experience life in the 'fast lane' as I would call it. How GREAT ! :D
Though I have no doubt there is going to be the good and the bad that come with it all, the over arching experiences will all display as great blessings from Christ.
Be excited my friends as life unrolls before your eyes!
Though I have no doubt there is going to be the good and the bad that come with it all, the over arching experiences will all display as great blessings from Christ.
Be excited my friends as life unrolls before your eyes!
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Tank Girls
Tonight, Justina and Renee came to my place for dinner and to study :) these two smart, strong, crazy girls. :) I was honoured when ppl put me in the category of "tank girls" when ppl knew we were all hanging they were saying that they felt motivated to workout just by being in the same room as us! lOL so jokes.
So excited to train with these two crazy tank girls next semester to get fit and strong ! :) I have girls to workout with now, especially ones that will def. push me to my limits because their endurance and strength motivate me! :D Watch out world! Time to see Angie change! So blessed with sisters in Christ. They motivate me to get STRONG. which is what I want. :D
Looking forward to the next yr and half with them woo!
So excited to train with these two crazy tank girls next semester to get fit and strong ! :) I have girls to workout with now, especially ones that will def. push me to my limits because their endurance and strength motivate me! :D Watch out world! Time to see Angie change! So blessed with sisters in Christ. They motivate me to get STRONG. which is what I want. :D
Looking forward to the next yr and half with them woo!
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Happy day, Sad day
I was filled with joy this morning and I was trying to figure out what made me so happy. It was because one of my dance friends sent me this private msg on my tumblr
"I think your faith keeps you strong and helps you through every hardship you’ve had to endure. It’s very special, and this is coming from someone who no longer follows any religion.Your unwavering belief is inspiring to me. "
My heart just melted... its such an encouraging message because my life is to let others see Christ through me and she see's it and is inspired! :) Praise God, Let Your Holy Name be known! It really made my day, thank you.
random: after this encouraging msg, a random dude also sent me a msg! (yay two msgs in a day! that never happens on tumblr!) It said: "You are cute. I just wanted to say that :)" ............. lol.
I was able to go to the gym after my last biochem lecture! :) ate a healthy dinner and studied with Joey, made Matcha Green Tea Latte too! ( him and JT said it was amazing so yay!! passed the good tasting test) :)
but things started to get a little sour :[ after an encounter with a friend who wasn't all that nice about me practicing 10,000 reasons ( which i just learned ystday) I was discouraged not because he was being discretely mean, but bc he's a pro and he just can't expect me to be at his level. I need to take baby steps since its also my second time playing, so in other words, his comments and words made me feel like I was really crappy yet I know im a noob and im just trying :( He's a nice friend and I know he didn't mean to make me feel bad ( he doesn't know it made me feel bad, he doesn't need to know :P)... it just kindve sucks when you're trying hard at something but someone ends up pushing you a little too much....I'm also probably a little sensitive right now, so ya.. it just made me feel crappy.
Then my housemate came back and told us that all her notes got wiped out from her usb and the first thing i say is "i thought you would've backed it up on your computer," ... and then my other housemate points out that I shouldn't be saying that, and i really shouldn't have said that. bc wow that is rude and insensitive. what got into me? ... i didn't even think. and then upstairs as we comfort her in her room, I try to tell her about my experience about it happening to me and how its bad but its ok, my same housemate tells me not to say that either and then im really rattled bc i'm trying to tell her its ok but i guess i've said the wrong thing again... and then i feel like i dont know how to comfort anymore so i dont say anyhting and i just sit there bc everything i say is bad. More crappy feelings, so I guess my night has turned a little sour, and though i've reconciled with my housemate(that lost all her notes) she says its ok and it really didnt offend her, I still feel bad. how can i not.
I hate days like this, i'd much rather have it the other way around, or even not have either situations happen... but then I think to myself. Angie, why are you so sensitive. thicken up abit and get some. lol Maybe im just extra sensitive these days though. sigh.
God be with me tn. <3 br="br" nbsp="nbsp">
"I think your faith keeps you strong and helps you through every hardship you’ve had to endure. It’s very special, and this is coming from someone who no longer follows any religion.Your unwavering belief is inspiring to me. "
My heart just melted... its such an encouraging message because my life is to let others see Christ through me and she see's it and is inspired! :) Praise God, Let Your Holy Name be known! It really made my day, thank you.
random: after this encouraging msg, a random dude also sent me a msg! (yay two msgs in a day! that never happens on tumblr!) It said: "You are cute. I just wanted to say that :)" ............. lol.
I was able to go to the gym after my last biochem lecture! :) ate a healthy dinner and studied with Joey, made Matcha Green Tea Latte too! ( him and JT said it was amazing so yay!! passed the good tasting test) :)
but things started to get a little sour :[ after an encounter with a friend who wasn't all that nice about me practicing 10,000 reasons ( which i just learned ystday) I was discouraged not because he was being discretely mean, but bc he's a pro and he just can't expect me to be at his level. I need to take baby steps since its also my second time playing, so in other words, his comments and words made me feel like I was really crappy yet I know im a noob and im just trying :( He's a nice friend and I know he didn't mean to make me feel bad ( he doesn't know it made me feel bad, he doesn't need to know :P)... it just kindve sucks when you're trying hard at something but someone ends up pushing you a little too much....I'm also probably a little sensitive right now, so ya.. it just made me feel crappy.
Then my housemate came back and told us that all her notes got wiped out from her usb and the first thing i say is "i thought you would've backed it up on your computer," ... and then my other housemate points out that I shouldn't be saying that, and i really shouldn't have said that. bc wow that is rude and insensitive. what got into me? ... i didn't even think. and then upstairs as we comfort her in her room, I try to tell her about my experience about it happening to me and how its bad but its ok, my same housemate tells me not to say that either and then im really rattled bc i'm trying to tell her its ok but i guess i've said the wrong thing again... and then i feel like i dont know how to comfort anymore so i dont say anyhting and i just sit there bc everything i say is bad. More crappy feelings, so I guess my night has turned a little sour, and though i've reconciled with my housemate(that lost all her notes) she says its ok and it really didnt offend her, I still feel bad. how can i not.
I hate days like this, i'd much rather have it the other way around, or even not have either situations happen... but then I think to myself. Angie, why are you so sensitive. thicken up abit and get some. lol Maybe im just extra sensitive these days though. sigh.
God be with me tn. <3 br="br" nbsp="nbsp">
Monday, December 3, 2012
Lack of Motivation
Its true boys (few of my friends).. I'm feelings it too... i have such little desire to concentrate because of my lack of motivation...i dont kno if its just today but the lack of motivation is scary yet calming.... Still working away on this essay that I was hoping to finish last week. >_>'' Sigh... i wonder why..
Dodged a Bullet
Angie, you must not forget that you just dodged a bullet, your temporary desires are foolish so let it go... God knows whats best for you so you don't need to be planning your own paths because you've learned from experience your path will be 99% unfulfilled.
Your lot is casted, but your path is still determined by God-Prov 16:33.
His path for me is always better -Romans 8:28
I guess PMS season doesn't help either...tough times.. emotional and searching as if i'm missing something. Christ. He's right there. All that you need.
Spirit Guided Obedience. John 15:4/Gal 5:22. Obey even if you don't FEEL like it. Its called a Love for Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit and Fruits will produce.
Your lot is casted, but your path is still determined by God-Prov 16:33.
His path for me is always better -Romans 8:28
I guess PMS season doesn't help either...tough times.. emotional and searching as if i'm missing something. Christ. He's right there. All that you need.
Spirit Guided Obedience. John 15:4/Gal 5:22. Obey even if you don't FEEL like it. Its called a Love for Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit and Fruits will produce.
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